[CURRENT CONDITION: DEJA VU]

Why is it everytime I think I am better, I find myself coming back to this same feeling like it's an addiction? Why is it that I could be doing so well, and then something happens, and i wanna go all ape shit on folks? LMAO! I really thought that I was doing well. And for a minute I was. Even my closest friends have noticed a big difference.

At this point in my life, I am finding it harder and harder to understand life, and the trials and tribulations that have been placed in my way. I am truly my mother's son. I am like her in so many ways. That's not really a good thing, but it gets the job done. LMAO! Anyway though, as some of you may not have known, I have acquired a second job as a graphic arts consultant for my district. That sounds good doesn't it. It's not...guess who my boss is? MY COUSIN! You're probably like, how is that bad? I am NOW understanding why people say, NEVER WORK WITH YOUR FAMILY!!!OMFG they couldn't have been so right. I wanna tell her off so fucking bad I just want to say you know what, you can take this bullshit and shove it down your throat! CHOKE ON IT TOO!

Now, keep in mind, I don't have a problem with working with people, but if I am disrespected and belittled, that is when I feel as though I have to speak up for myself. I am not afraid of criticism (yes! I agree I battled with this for a long time), but at least tell me why you're criticizing me or my work. Let me know so I can fix it. DAMN! See what she does is give me something to draw up, but doesn't give in detail, just let's me freestyle the whole thing, and then she get's bitchy at me complaining that it's not right and telling me to do it over. Okay, but shouldn't she let me know what she wants instead of going back and forth for about 5 fucking hours?!

This is crazy! I know jobs are hard and stuff, and I need to suck it up to make ends meet, but at the same time, I feel as though I should be respected, especially if you're not paying me what I deserve. I am doing this as a favor to her because I know that other girl she had quit (can't say I blame her). I am NOT going to be talked to any kind of way, and I am NOT going to have my creations talked about like pieces of shit. I pour my soul into EVERYTHING I do, and I am NOT going to let someone talk about them like they are some kindergarten doodles. I deserve respect, and I deserve to be treated with the same dignity as she requires. Don't think you can treat me any kind of way just because I am a family member. Don't think you can pay me chump change just because I'm a family member.

I'm not going to settle for this, and if this continues, I will say to HELL with this job, you all can burn in hell!