[Current Condition: Lonely]

I’ve been trying to handle this issue without having to call up my therapist, but I think I might have to call him up again. It’s just lately I’ve been feeling more alone than ever. It’s like feeling alone in a crowded room. It sucks! While I do have people to talk to, I can’t help but get the feeling that all I do is bother them. Like all I am is a nuisance. I hate feeling this way, and while I know I should think more positive, and not think so negative, but I can’t help it! I’ve been trying to look at it other ways, but I just can’t! 

I feel ignored. I feel like people just put up with me just out of pity. Like they feel sorry for me. I feel like people only befriend me, just because it is the nice thing to do. It doesn’t feel genuine. Sometimes it feels like I put so much energy into a friendship, only to get so little in return. Ugh! My emotions have been a frickin’ whirlwind.

I just wanna feel like I belong somewhere. I just want to feel appreciated. Hell, my family doesn’t appreciate me, so I have to be appreciated by someone. Or maybe that’s just the way I feel. *Sigh* I’m so confused and torn. I don’t even wish for a relationship anymore, because that doesn’t do any good. It’s a waste of time. Now, I just wish for mutual friendship. That shouldn’t be so hard to ask God for. If there is one. I’ve been very reluctant lately.