This has always been one of the hardest things for me to do - Move On. When I love someone, I love for real. It’s no joke. It’s like I never fall OUT of love with that person. It had to ask myself, was I in LOVE with this person, or was I in LUST with this person.

At first I must admit, I was in LUST with him because all I could think about was how sexy he looked. All I cared about was the outer, and didn’t give a damn about the inner, but through my conversations with him, I realized that there was more to him, than I even cared to figure out. I learned that he was so genuine, and so different than what I assumed his personality to be. That is what made me so infatuated with him. I found myself sometimes daydreaming about him, and losing sleep over him, wondering if he was thinking of me as much as I was thinking of him. I later found out the answer to that, and honestly, it hurt like I was hit with a pillow filled with bricks.

I have to say, I was upset. I felt like throwing in the towel as far as love, because I felt that was my last chance. The moment when I was at my lowest was when he came and talked to me in that same night I felt like crying, but yet, I couldn’t because he never left, he just agreed to hold my hand, and not my heart.