“Suffering is not caused by pain but by resisting pain.”~Unknown
One thing about me that I don’t hide is that I suffer from depression. And when we’re talking depression, we’re talking the suicidal kind of depression, the depression that will put me in a mental institute, but somehow I’ve been able to keep it under wraps lately, and I’m really proud to say that I’ve been doing a great job. I think Khris has been able to suppress those feelings. God Bless That Man! <3 about="about" anyway="anyway" at="at" away="away" but="but" depressed="depressed" do="do" don="don" from="from" get="get" hand="hand" i="i" p="p" stray="stray" t="t" the="the" to="to" topic="topic" want="want" what="what">
I was depressed about being alone, not finding love, not being self-sufficient. I believed as though that life was a race to the finish line and I haven’t taken my first step yet, and people are lapping me. I felt like the things that I should have accomplished in my age, I haven’t and it made me feel like I was nothing. I was in pain.
My pain was so unbearable I even contemplated my own death. When the doctor offered antidepressants, I declined.
I was severely depressed and diagnosed with bipolar tendencies. Still, I stubbornly refused antidepressants.
In my mind, I had already established my happiness was not going to be found in a pill. So I kept searching for what I believed would make me happy, only to self-medicate by stuffing my emotions in binge eating, alcohol, and co-dependent relationships.
I was a walking contradiction and I really “thought” I resolved my past. So why was I still unhappy? Once again the universe stepped in, and third time was definitely not a charm. I finally succumbed to the pills, but what else did I do to battle manic depression? I tapped into my SPIRIT. How did I do that? Well, I did it by:
• Acknowledging your emotions instead of burying them with alcohol, sex, food, etc is much more responsible, because you’re 100% in charge of your own happiness.
• Finding at least five things to be grateful for shifts the focus from what you perceive as missing in your life.
• Forgiving Others and most of all yourself is necessary in order to let go and move on.
• Praying, journaling, and meditating increases inner calm.
• Listening to your intuition can save you from needless suffering.
The key is consistency and repetition in order to create healthier habits. I know that life can get in the way and some days it can be challenging to cope.
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