Think back to the last time you harmed someone else. Have you forgiven yourself? Probably not.

We all make mistakes. Oftentimes, through our actions, somebody gets hurt.

How do we handle forgiving ourselves for things we’ve done to others? Well, we could start by:

Accepting Yourself & Your Flaws.Know that despite your flaws, you are okay as you are. Your flaws, rather than making you “less” of a person, are what make you who you are. What you think of as a defect actually makes you far more interesting to others.

You’re not perfect. You make mistakes. Hell, We ALL make mistakes! Your mistakes and failures help you improve. As flawed as you may be, you must accept yourself, flaws and all, if you are to make progress in your life. Remember, You’re Not As Bad As You Think You Are.

You can do something wrong while still being a good person. A lot of guilt or shame can make you feel like there is something wrong with you. There is a very big difference between doing a bad thing and being a bad person. Even when you do something that you regret, you most likely had a valid reason for doing it at the time (even if that reason doesn’t make rational sense).

You didn’t do something bad because you are a fundamentally a bad person; there was an intent, or valid motivation, behind your action.

Forgiving yourself is far more challenging than forgiving someone else because you must live with yourself and your thoughts 24/7. Despite the challenge, emotionally healthy people must have the capacity to forgive themselves when they have made a mistake.

When you forgive yourself, you are not pretending as though it never happened. On the contrary, you are acknowledging that your actions have consequences. But the consequences need not include self-inflicted negative feelings.

Not forgiving yourself is like picking at an open wound; you are only making a bad situation worse. The wound is already there, but you do have control over your reaction to it, and you can stop it from getting worse.

If you can forgive yourself when you make a mistake, it becomes easier for you to address the consequences of your action in a productive way.