Alright so I was on the internet looking up so new turntables, and I cam across THIS:

You're probably like, wtf is that? LMAO! It's the Linos Portable LP Player by Charles Pyott. The majority may be hooked to their digital players but there plenty of old-schoolers who hang on to their vinyl for dear life. Trying to appease this segment is “Linos”, a portable record player. Ditching the traditional full platter configuration for modern sensibilities, this player takes into consideration the space demands and limited mobility of regular turntables. Simply load the record to the lower spindle element and lock it into place from above. Pushing down on the power icon then releases the tonearm and spins up the record. Hook up the player to your comp via micro USB for sound and powering or use the USB power adapter with standard stereo jack output.

I want it so bad, but I know it is expensive as fuck!