It's funny that I write this, and I haven't been one to be very happy lately :( - Aside from that, I have been having some issues with my family and friends. It's so hard balancing things going on in my own mind, with shit that is going on in everyone elses. I've been practicing focusing more on myself than others. For the most part, it just makes me seem like a jerk. LOL! People that REALLY know me, know that I'm not that way at all.

So, getting off topic of that. A couple days or weeks back (can't remember), I broke it off with my NOW ex-gf. She left by calling me Selfish, Heartless, Conceited. Three words that I have never heard when pertaining to myself. It doesn't really bother me much, but I do find it rather amusing. I thought I would ask a couple of people that know me if I were those three words. You know what they said, "HELL NO!" and then laughed at me. It is pretty laughable.

Selfish? I am ALWAYS helping people, and always doing charitable work for people, and never have I asked for anything in return. I remember not too long ago, I was kinda short on cash after going grocery shopping on friday, and their were two girls from my local drill team holding a fundraiser so they can raise money to compete in nationals. I was thinking, "I can't give them these last couple of dollars. I need it soooo bad right now." But...I gave it to them anyway, and went home broke as hell. But, that is not the first time I have done things like that. I have always done stuff like that. Like when I was downtown Chicago, I walked pass this homeless guy on the side of the street. I gave him my whole lunch. He thanked me and said, "God Bless You". I do these things because I know that somewhere down the line, I will be rewarded for these things. God has a great reward for me. I just have to be patient.

Heartless? How many times have I put others in front of myself; TOO MANY TIMES!!!! I have been a shoulder to cry on for everyone I have came in contact with. I might not be able to solve the issue, but I will sure as hell listen to what you have to say. That is what people want these days, someone that will be there for them in the good or bad. I am here for both. I am there for people, even when I don't agree with their actions. I try to reach my hand out and carry them through it. I tend to take on their problems though like a sponge, so sometimes I do have to tell people, I can't help them. *sigh*

Conceited? This one is the most hilarious shit I have heard in a long time! If you REALLY know me, and have read some of my previous blogs, and watched some of my previous videoblogs, you would know that I am totally not conceited! This couldn't be more wrong. That's like saying skittles candy tastes like chocolate! LMAO! I tend to talk bad about myself so bad, that I make my own self cry. I get so disappointed at my own actions, and I normally don't allow anyone else to talk shit about me, because I beat them to it, majority of the time.