[Current Condition: This Is What My Life Was Missing]

Alright! I just got out of B. Scott's room and even though B was not there, I have to say that I enjoyed my time there. I swear most of the people I have contact with lately, have greated me with open arms and I am loving this. I never experienced this much love from people outside of my family. It makes me wonder if I ever had friends to begin with. I would sometimes wonder if they even cared for me conditionally.

It's funny how I could spend less than 3 hours with someone I just met, and they already do a much better job than the RL friends I had once before. It's sad, but yet it opens up my eyes. Oddly enough, I am befriending a lot more gay and bisexual friends. I think this is what I was missing. Even though I am not gay myself, nor gay, I must say that these people are some very nice people, and I'm glad that I finally got a chance to share such friendships with them.

Ever since I learned of my fathers passing this year (FINALLY!!!) I have went back to that care-free child that I once was, that one child that didn't have a worry the first. I love that! I finally feel like I have that comfort, and that stability that I was longing for. I finally feel as though I can escape to the net, and there will be people that will be waiting to console me in my highest, and my low. Those are what you call friends. Even though they may not be here in physical form, just to know that there is someone out there that cares for me, and cares ENOUGH to even listen to what is going on in my life is enough reason to keep pressing on.

I can almost say that the internet saved my life, because in a way it did. I would have STILL been suicidal, and depressed, and everything like that. I STILL would have been a violent person, and I STILL wouldn't have given a damn if I hurt someone's feelings or not. This is wonderful, and I'm so glad someone is out there to actually listen. THANKS!