[CURRENT CONDITION: SORE. WEAK. BUT NOT BEATEN]

I haven't been blogging lately, but it's all for good reason. I've been wanting to, but I have been unable lately because of my health. I recently had to go BACK to the hospital for a second surgery - Thoracic Aorta Surgery or something like that. To make the long story short, the doctor said that my heart had stopped functioning for a while and it took a while to bring me back to life, so I guess you could say that I was staring at death in the eyeballs. Scary shit huh? So, right now I can say that I am 8.5/10 there. I'll be blogging much more once I am 100%

I have to be careful with my blogs though. My last one I wrote got me in a lot of trouble. I should've known better. I almost lost the two people that mean the most to me - MY GIRLFRIEND (AMANDA) and my BEST-FRIEND (PAM). Both share an importance to me, but while I am on the topic of Pam, I should say this because it's pretty interesting. I noticed that when I was talking to her today, my feelings that I used to have for her weren't even present. It was weird, but a good thing. Like seriously, there was no kind of love emotion at all. It was strictly friendship based. I think I have seriously gotten over her. That's a good thing, because I have secured a future with Amanda, and I can't wait for us to interlock hands, and create that dream both of us long for.

I have NEVER met a girl that is so much like me. It's scary how we have so many things in common. She loves everything about me, and I love everything about her. I am not a phone person nor a texter, but when it comes to Amanda, every text I receive from her is like the perfect drizzle of chocolate on a strawberry. Everytime I talk to her on the phone, there is NEVER a dull moment. Usually if I talk to a girl on the phone, I am completely blank, but with her, the conversation lasts for hours. The only thing that is missing in our relationship is the physical. That won't be long. We both have faith and hope that we will soon join hands - me, her, and Rayden. I have already claimed them both as MINE! I won't let anyone take my family away from me. For once I am happy! FINALLY, someone who I have been dreaming for, and here she is. It's like GOD has made her strictly for me! For that I am so thankful, and I am going to try my damnest not to fuck this up. This is MY DREAM and MY GOAL that has been delivered. This only opens a new chapter into my never-ending novel.