[Current Condition: Aggravated]

Alright. I usually find myself going over this topic quite a bit. I felt it necessary to run through this one more time. LOL. I don’t think that people are quite understanding the whole “internet personality” thing. See, I have a different personality when I am online for some reason. I don’t even do it on purpose either. I often say a lot of things that I would NEVER say in real life. I am actually very shy, and reserved when in the public eye, but on the internet I tend to come off as crazy and psycho. LMAO. I don’t get it really.

WHO IS ANWAR?

That’s a good question. Who am I? It’s kinda hard to describe my REAL personality to people, as I would come off as being extremely boring. I’ll try my best to make this as entertaining as I possibly can. Anwar is the type of person that women would like to get to know, because I’m a very sweet person, and I tend to take the sides of women mostly 9/10 even if the guy is right. I don’t know. I always been that kind of person. Anwar is a person that is a very family oriented, and an emotional person. I tend to show my emotions in everything I touch. You feel my emotions in my artwork, my music, my writing, and etc. Anwar is a very creative person, and he tends to think of things in full detail, and tries to look at things through various perspectives, and often times likes to escape into his own fantasy world, where there is no troubles or worries. He is a person that had to get over 23 years of grief and anguish in which he walks alone, and trusts very few. He is the type of person who doesn’t believe in love really, nor does he even bother to pursue it. Instead, he tries to live his life without the joys of love and relationship, and find other ways of hapinness that no one else could possibly understand.

WHO IS MADD HATTER

Over the years I have acquired this alias, alot of people would describe me differently. Some would say Madd Hatter is a sweet and innocent person, others would say he’s a judgmental, coniving, stuck-up, concieted, sociopath - aside from other things I will not say. What I’m trying to figure out is, why am I that way when I’m on the internet. Am I lashing out due to lack of frustration? Am I becoming the opposite of what I am in real life because the real me doesn’t have much of a backbone? Is Madd Hatter the backbone to Anwar? All of this is just so confusing. I always find myself fighting this persona with my one in real life, which usually brings frustration to my friends. The persona of Madd Hatter has caused me to lose many of the things that I cherish, I has made a lot of people question my sanity, and if I need psychiatric help. I know this may sound crazy, but these thoughts are not mine. I think what it is, is an after-effect of all the things that I face off the internet, and I bottle it up inside, instead of saying something, and then when I am on the internet, it transforms itself, into some emo-ish, social-deviant that is cold-hearted, suicidal, sadistic, negative, and nonchalant about the situation at hand. Madd Hatter has now become something that people link me to. It’s a good thing and a bad thing. Sorta reminds me of a double-edged sword. It’s a good thing, because Madd Hatter is the semi-popular name in which people on the internet know me by. I have various people that would talk to me, and share a conversation. Anwar on the other hand, has no friends, no social contact at all with men or women, and pretty much lives a [work - come home - work on a couple of personal projects - sleep - work] type of schedule. Madd Hatter is bad because it contradicts everything that I REALLY am. Man…this is wicked.